Thursday, November 28, 2002

I WiLl bE iN iNdIA tOmOrRoW ...!
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Sunday, November 24, 2002

Just heard Mr. Veerappan** is now dreaming of becoming a big political leader (a la Phoolan Devi). Now matter how appalling it would be if he became a political leader, it makes a lot of sense that if he can help others to win elections... why can’t he himself become a member of the Assembly? This news comes after the revelation of his dream of having Mr. Shekhar Kapoor to direct a movie based on his life story (inspired again by Phoolan Devi – “The Bandit Queen”).

I searched the net for his name "Veerappan", and the search engine returned me some 24,200 web pages. Now that's all the fame you can ever get in this world. Trust me... you do wanna know this guy.

Notes:
**Veerappan is the forest brigand from the jungles of Karnataka and Tamilnadu (India). He is one of the most famous (I would avoid using the more appropriate term “notorious” here, since he could be our next Prime Minister) high profile smuggler in India. He likes Media and is known for his love for fame. Smuggling, murders and kidnapping are only some of the resultant actions of his mischievous nature. (once again, crimes would have been a better term. But you know why…!)

Click Here to Read about one of Veerappan's recent misdemeanours - The abduction of an EX-Chief Minister
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Saturday, November 23, 2002

It has been more than a week since I enlightened you people with the episodic occurrences of my boring, repetitive, wearisome and uninspiring life. So I thought I'd break the silence today.

My week involved another visit to my dentist, who drilled the hell out of another tooth of mine and a visit to the hairdresser. For some reasons, I still feel bad about cutting my hair on my visit to the hairdresser. Maybe some day I will decide to grow my hair long again.

Article of the week: -- Highly Recomended..:

"Where love is obscene, but not hunger deaths...!"
By: Tavleen Singh

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Sunday, November 17, 2002

This is a big day for me. I got a compliment from someone that my writings are stupid and make little sense. I feel rewarded for my wonderful writings. Nana… don't laugh at that. It's a serious matter. It's a big moment… too big for my little heart I guess. Writing stupid is not easy you know. It might not take any world-recognised qualification, but it still takes a lot of thinking and a whole lot of nothing to come up with so much of rubbish to write on here everyday.

So I think I shall sit here in peace and enjoy the moment eh…!!

Saturday, November 16, 2002

I was just watching a movie called "The Astronaut's Wife". I have never had any special liking for these science fiction movies. I mean, I almost hate them. But what I hate even more is the thought that some of the things they show in these movies can be true in the near future.

We human beings have a peculiar self-destructive tendency. I will not be surprised to hear that someone is already trying to install a tiny computer or at least an electronic chip inside the human body or the brain to make him/her a super-human. And something like that will not only be a detachment from the nature, but also a call for a troubled future... and the world will end up in, what I will call a "civilized anarchy".

I have this strange feeling that this self-destructive super-human will be the production of a well-known, recognised and civilised mind rather than a anarchist like Bin Laden or a dictator like Saddam Hussain. The reasons is that nihilists like these two may have the money or power to buy some weapons of mass destruction, but they have neither the resources nor the support to do this.

In my opinion, some of the most developed nations have been the ones to come up with the most destructive ideas. What is scarier is that these nations have been able to cover these up to a large extent.

Yes… those with the power, authority, resources, our support and respect will do it, and we will just sit and watch just like we watch these science fictions. But for now, let me stand at the brink of this ocean… and breath the deepest breath ever, because this air will probably not remain fresh in its traditional sense anymore**

Notes:
**We will probably come up with ideas of replacing air with something that has been successfully tested on rats to help them lose weight without having to exercise.

Wednesday, November 13, 2002

Thought of the day..:
They tell me I have no brains.. I tell them:
"If I had one... I would've been sooo.. dangerous...!"
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Monday, November 11, 2002

A visit to the dentist was the highlight of my day today. She was exaggeratedly surprised to see that my teeth were to such good condition even though I haven’t seen a dentist in years. And the compliment, “I have exceptionally good dental hygiene...!”

Funny though that she still managed to drill a hole in one of my teeth for a filling to make me pay a couple of hundred dollars...! And if that was not all, she booked me for three quarters of an hour on next monday to drill a couple more holes in my teeth...! Now I'm thinking... "is that what she meant by exceptionally good hygiene..?"

And she added that I wouldn't have had to get these fillings done if I had been using dental floss to clean between my teeth. So I gotta use a piece of string to keep my teeth clean now… good old toothbrush is not good anymore… is it? I wonder if we are going back to the late 1930s or something...!**

Notes: **The first Nylon Toothbrush was invented in 1938
***The First Toothbrush was invented in Egypt in 3000 BC
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Sunday, November 10, 2002

God… I love my simple life of an unknown idiot…! Not being famous is a bliss. It allows me to live my life the way I want it in-stead of worrying about the way I am supposed to live. Some of the reasons why I feel so lucky to be ordinary are…:

1. I do not have to wake up early on my Birthday just so that I can idiotically wave to half a million people who have been waiting all night outside my palace window to wish me a happy b’day. (You can’t have a happy b’day if you have to get out of your bed that early… can you?)

2. I feel lucky that I don’t have to read the morning paper to find out that I was wearing a fine-looking ring in my ring-finger yesterday. (Is he engaged or married or what...!)

3. Even better that I don’t have to wake up a few days later to read in a news review that the same ring was seen on my forefinger a few days later. (oh.. maybe that was just a publicity stunt...!)

4. I don’t have a butler who (after my death) will be charged of stealing hundreds of my personal items and important documents.

5. I don’t have a butler who (after my death) will then rupture any respect that may be left in the public.

6. My mother will not have to get a former princess eliminated simply because she divorced me and is now with someone else.

Saturday, November 09, 2002

Today's News Review:
I saw the Aussie arrogance at its peak with one good day on cricket field yesterday hit the front page of "Daily Telegraphy" today making egotistical headlines like "Is there ANYBODY in England who can play cricket? (Ashes Humiliation - day one)" along with mortifying images of English players. The five pages at the end (sports section) were full of praise for the Aussie Team and a list of Top Ten ways England can win the Ashes (which of course was another Aussie way of humiliating English side).

What is more is that the English are batting well today. And if they keep on batting well till the end of the day, I can almost certainly predict how it will be reported in the papers tomorrow. We will see a news of quarter of a column on the third-last page of our favourite tabloid.

By the way, I am not an English enthusiast. In fact I support the Aussie team (unless they were playing against India). But I like to see a true sportsmanship. But this conceited attitude is nowhere near that. I believe it's about time when we start to speak like sport lovers rather than over-confident and conceited self-entertainers.

I must praise Aussies and the media for making the team feel that they are INDOMITABLE. In a way it is important to feel invincible in order to win. Aussies do it well.

Wednesday, November 06, 2002

aaahhh... I'm finally home. This is such a great feeling...! By the way, as u can see, I survived the long shift. And not very surprisingly, I have done very well. I think I could have gone for another 12 hours or something. My record is of staying awake for 52 hours with only 2 hours of sleep inbetween all up... hehehe...!

Yeah yeah.. i know you'll call me a Workoholic...! But trust me... the TAXWOMAN**loves me. I probably pay more tax than some 5 lazy aussie A###S*** would pay together. Anyway that's it for today. I should approach my bed before I fall dead.

Notes:
**I know that it would typically be "TAXMAN". But I also know that if I had written something like "the taxman loves me"... some of you are gonna tease the TAX out of me. Hence the invention of the word "TAXWOMAN"...!
***Sorry... Censored...!

P.S.: They say that need is the mother of Invention. So now you also know the taxwoman's mother.. hehe...!
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Tuesday, November 05, 2002

Yesterday’s action against the ants brought a much-needed relief in the territory. But we still need a post-war clean-up operation in the affected areas. But that will have to wait till the ministry deals with the financial matters.

The start to the day was again a bit painful with another short sleep. I expect things to get worse as the night progresses. Worse it will be tomorrow when I do a day shift (which starts right after I finish this shift here). So that’ll be a 24-hour shift at work. But I know I’ll survive...!

And the joke of the day comes from JASBINDER..: "Nagita is Punjabi, and I am a police officer...!" hahaha... what else Jasbinder**?
Notes: **Personification of ABCD
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Okay people... time for today's bludge...! Let's see what my life made me put up with today...! Didn't get much of a sleep coz woke up after sleeping for only about 7 hours (well by my standards.. that's nothing). So thought i should make the best of it since I was awake. So went to pick up my ticket, but as fate would have it... my ticket hasn't arrived yet.

Got home, but had to prepare for another battle against the unseen enemy. Wondering who that is...? Well fellows, I might never have revealed before, but we've been having a big problem coz of too many ants in our house recently. I call them "The Unseen Enemy" coz you never know where they come from and what they are going to attack in the house today.

What escalated the war today though, was their unnecessary intrusion into one of our cereal boxes. Unfortunately I was unable to retrieve our cereals, but due to our counter attack, ants did retreat and we killed almost all the ants left behind line of control, and succeeded in penetrating deep into the enemy territory and killing heaps more with the use of... what Mr. Bush would call weapons of mass destruction(Mortein Value Pack). So that was my way of celebrating Diwali.

My attempt was to be brief, but I guess I had to explain the reasons why I went on war with the stupid ants. Hope all of you had a good Deepawali.

Sunday, November 03, 2002

For those who still don't know about my visit to India...: I'll be in India on 30th of November and will be there till 26th of December. So those in India, might get a chance to see me bludge for nearly a month. Actually, I might not really be bludging there since I'll be busy organising my Big B's wedding :-)

Alright people.. lets get started...! I'll try to keep this log up-to-date... but don't expect it to be too interesting either. I mean if you know me then you would probably know that nothing that interesting happens in my life anyway. The same old BLUDGER...!

Anyway, for today... all i can tell u is that I'm at work and am bludging... hehe... how predictable eh...! I've actually logged into my messengers too. Just downloaded Yahoo messenger at this computer at my work. But that doesn't seem to have made my chances of being bored any lesser. So here I am... writing the (boring) story of my life. anyway... that's it for today people.