I sit here tonight with a chewing gum in my mouth to keep me busy thinking about my life. Seems to be growing more and more boring everyday. Sitting at work a couple of days ago, I figured out the cause of this melancholy I am in right now. I was going through the list of phone numbers stored in my phone, and guess what I found…? I found nobody that I could call that night to keep myself busy (o well, that’ll be wrong, in fact I did call a few, but as fate would have it… none of them likes their phone as much as I do). Okay, now the reason why I couldn’t find many to call was that most of the numbers on that list are of those from overseas. Meaning that I don’t have enough friends here in Sydney.

Okay now please don’t suggest me what to do about this situation. I mean all I wanted to do was to bore you for some time like I am myself. I mean I’m sure I can sort this problem out myself.

Check back when you are bored enough to read my bullshit…! ammm… did you say I am being rude? O come on… jokes are still allowed on God’s earth… aren’t they? So see you later…!

Comments are much appreciated...!
::

Joke of the day:

I look like "Chris Rock" you know this guy in Rush Hour…!
I know I know… I'm nothing like him. But that's what I got told by this checkout chick at the supermarket. Strange eh…! Now it could be because of my beard… but can someone please tell these people that Chris Rocks is black…?

amm.. and no I'm not amused...!

Comments are much appreciated...!
::

Joke of the Day:

"Wife" Redefined: A wife is that wonderful woman, who stands by her man through all the trouble he wouldn't have had to face if he had stayed single.

Thanks for the joke Gurpreet.
::

O God… what a day it has been so far...! Started off with my stupidity. I set off for work without my work shoes. I realised it when I stopped at the gas station a couple of kilometres away from home. Went back to get the shoes. And then the tyre of my car went flat on the way to work. The next thing I found was that although I had a spare tyre, I didn't have any tools to change the flat tyre. So had to call the road service, and he took his own sweet little time. So in all that, I got to work about an hour late. And it's only the beginning…

This is too funny to be true...: As most of you must already know, that I work at night, so get bored. I tried calling a friend (his name is Gagan) today who I haven't spoken to for a long time… and it happened to be the biggest and the funniest coincidence of my life.

A girl answered the phone. I was surprised, because I couldn't think of a woman who could be with him at this time of the night (he is more or less 'hanumaan bhagat' - a Brahmchari).
Anyway, I asked, "Can I speak with Gagan please?"
She asked who I was and I replied, "It's Balraj, his friend…!"
She called Gagan and we started taking… asking each other how have we been and stuff. His voice and manner of talking sounded different. I told him he sounded different… but we both thought it was because we hadn't talked in a while.
After talking for about 5 minutes, I realised that I was talking to the wrong person. I asked him if his full name was "Gagan Bamba" and to my surprise, he replied his name was "Gagan Sandhu"

Now here is the coincidence: What are the chances that you dial a wrong telephone number in Sydney and find another Indian on the other end? But that's not all, is it not weir that he happens to be Punjabi as well. If that was not enough, his name was also "Gagan", the same as that of the person I was looking for. And to add to my revelation, he knew another person whose name was also "Balraj" and he hadn't spoken to him for quite some time as well.

Of course he thought I was someone he knew and was playing a trick on him. But to me, it was as funny as it ever gets.
::

The news of the day is that I stuffed up my computer completely today. As some of you might already know, my computer was infected by some virus a couple of weeks ago. This morning I deleted some 22 virus files from the system, and in the process the virus seems to have deleted some system files as well. But anyway, the computer should be worth using by tonight as I have already reloaded the whole software on it.

By the way, just for your information Sonia, the export of Kangaroo meat and skin is not prohibited. Kangaroo products can also be exported. There are some limitations on what species of kangaroos and wallabies can be hunted for professional use though. The most interesting fact I found about hunting kangaroos is that according to the Australian law, All kangaroos hunted for commercial use must be killed instantly by a single shot to the head (obviously by a licensed and fully trained hunter). Click here for more information on this.
::

The News:

The latest in my life is that I am a Permanent Resident of Australia now. I was granted the visa on the 7th of this month, and have just received the letter from the Immigration department. For most of you, it won’t be such a big deal. But it is to me since I have worked hard towards it. It’s strange though that although this is a big moment in my life, I don’t have too many people to celebrate it with.

I am waiting for a few friends to get their PR as well (these are the friends who are in the same situation that I was in and are waiting for their visa). I’m trying to organize a get together with all of them after we all get the visa. The reason is that these are the people who understand the importance of this visa more than any other friend I have.

Well, this was another ordinary day. Slept most of the day after another night at work. Woke up in the afternoon, and the only thing I did was to get a haircut. I know that I've been talking about growing my hair long again, but I decided that this was not the right time yet. But some day I will. I'm back at work now. How boring eh...!

Well I've been reading about the US activity in the gulf. I can't believe they are doing this. I mean it seems like nothing can satisfy Mr. Bush. Now here is what I understand is going through the minds of Mr. Bush and Mr. Smart (Saddam) Husain:

Mr. Bush: War is IMMINENT if Iraq doesn't let the UN Inspectors in…!
Mr. Hussain: Okay.. let these Inspectors in. Not that they can find anything anyway…!
Mr. Bush (says to himself): Oh shit, how the hell did he agree? I was expecting some entertainment in the gulf stadium. (then recollects himself & says) Iraq is no reliable. They don't play fair. We will invade Iraq if the UN Inspectors are not allowed to work at will.
Mr. Hussain: Fine with us. They can Inspect whatever, whenever.
Mr. Bush (says to himself): Oops, he even agreed to that. (cryingly says to his mum) Mum… am I not gonna have my favourite war now? We will invade if the Inspectors fine anything suspicious in Iraq.
UN Inspectors Team: We are through our first phase of our Inspection, and have not found a "smoking gun".
Mr. Bush: (cries out to his mum again and says) boohohooooo… MUM these Inspectors are no good. They couldn't even buy me a war.
Mr. Bush (then comes up with another idea and says): We will send 1.5 Million Troops to get ready for war. Damn the Inspectors, I'm having my war anyway.
::

Indian TV Review

I just can't understand why don't the directors see that their video is totally irrelevant to the music they are playing. There was this song I just can't get out of my head. The song was "Mera Ghungta" (My Veil), and the woman in the video dances around wearing hardly anything.

Worse still were the videos of the Punjabi songs sung by NON-Punjabi singers. The song would be something like "Punjabian Di Shaan Vakhri", whereas the director liked a few women showing off almost every part of their body bathing in an ridiculously artificial fall.

If you still can't picture the unnecessary vulgarity on Indian TV, imagine someone singing "Tera Chehra Jab Nazar Aye" with Rani Mukharji bathing in a bathtub in a room full of spider webs. I mean… stupid as it may sound, the spider webs are okay with me but why would you be singing and mourning about "when I see your face" when your heroin is ready to show off her whole body on the National TV…?

But I can't blame the directors of these videos either. After all, they make them coz people are happy to watch them. I do have to admit though that every part of my soul that is Indian cries out loud at the very thought of it all. I think I'll have to go back to our good old Hindi movies, where the only part of the heroin the hero could see was her feet, and the hero would leave a note for her saying "aap ke per bahut sundar hain. Inhen sambhal ke rakhiye"(your feet are very beautiful, please take care of them).
::

Today let me just acquaint you with some of the things I loved, and some that I hated in India…:

I love to drive in India. I've seen people around here going on 4w-drives for adventure. I tell you what… driving on the road in India is an adventure in itself. You don't find more of a challenge driving in the desert or the bush. Can You drive in India? Find out...! Take this test specially designed for NRIs (Non Required Indians) who visit India and wish to drive there.

Indian food… yummmmm…..! I took a friend with me one day and went to almost all the street vendor (rehdi walas) in the little city I live in and ate all the (so-called) JUNK that I possibly could in one day. When it comes to eating, I AM SOOOOO INDIAN.

O dear lord… I nearly forgot the Indian TV. Imagine sitting at your sofa scrolling though a list of some 60 to 100 TV channels (depending on where u live, you could have access to upto 100 channels. But yes, u could probably now complain about too many channels.

I hate many of the Indian TV programs though (the new music videos and the movies for example). Please read more in the "Indian TV Review" in the next post on.

I hate it when the Indian hospitality makes me drink tea or coffee. Don't ask me why…! Try saying "No thanks" to tea in India. They'll come with a cup of coffee (thinking that you've just grown a big head and don't drink tea anymore, just coz you live overseas now). Then try saying you don't drink coffee either (aunty main coffee vi nahin peenda), and they bring you a glass of milk (that is after giving you that funny look thinking "yeah right… tea/coffee isn't good enough for him now").

I hate to wake up every morning and see my dad either on the phone or sitting with someone in the drawing room talking about my marriage (some rishta that someone is suggesting). Then you go to meet the relatives, friends or whoever with your parents… and the only thing everyone can talk about is my marriage. And it gets worse when my parents come to me and ask me the same question again "hun phir isnu ki kahie..? Tun soch le phir ikk vari…!" (So what do you want us to say to this one? Come on, think about it again..!). woffffffffff…….. I'm glad I am back here and am still single.
::

Yes I'm back. I have actually been back from India since 27th of December 2002. But have just been too lazy to update this page. Sonia (most of you won't k now who that is…!) has been bugging me to update this page. Now that I am doing so, I'm sure she'll be delighted to see her name in here.

I know many of you are eager to hear about India. But I have so much that I don't know where to start. Anyway, Let's start from the first day. I know I won't be able to cover the whole chronicle today, so you might have to check the later dates for the rest of it. So here it goes…:

Got off the plane at Delhi, and could just smell India. Sonia calls it a smell she took three weeks to get used to. For me, that very smell was like a welcome note. A friend of a friend had to pick me up from the air port and drop me at the station. He did not let me pay for my train ticket or the breakfast even though he met me for the first time. Now I know that's typical Indian hospitality (something we are all so proud of), but I can't get used to it.

The time in the train was enough to remind me almost everything about India. The people without ticket, the guy checking the tickets, the little bribe to keep him happy (which makes it all good again), the freedom to stand in the door to the compartment to feel the fresh air, the Indian food, that Indian newspaper, the same Indian people… hehe.. it was just fun.

The legend continues tomorrow.
::